wanting you so much .

really missing you so much . wanting you so much as well . but I'm sure it's impossible . oh well ..

mixed feeling

it's mid june alrdy ! time pass so fast ! half way through my MP/SIP .. isn't a very enjoyable being there for internship, many things happened. well, i couldn't say it's totally not my fault for some of the incidents. but mostly wasn't due to me. it's quite stressful to be out of society working, seen and experience partly of it. wasn't as fun and easy as we thought. and sadly i'm losing the determination and motivation for my mp, i just hope i can buck up and work harder to archive what i wan.

made quite a lot of new friends and colleagues in my current intern company, there are 'good' and 'bad' people u will meet. i wonder what will be like in the 1st company i'm gonna to join. hope it's a better one. hehe. got the knw 2 crazy pretty ladies , always nvr fail to make me laugh everyday. that will be rachel and zoe , and there's more. at least they made my stay there more enjoyable, gonna miss them real bad when i leave.

talking about leaving, michelle(Charles and Keith) left. got transfer to AP, nxt will be leo. not sure where he's gonna be transfer to, bt definitely gonna miss him so badly. he teaches me a lot of things and also make my days working at charles and keith more fun than usual. he's one of the best colleagues in charles and keith. and my contract is ending soon, not sure shld i continue working since the uniform look damn ugly and big for me. plus so many ppl is transferring out, need to adapt to new staff at nex.

supposedly i have so many activities for tmr, however due to the haze so many thing cancel. and some things crop up as well. so i think tmr might be a stay home sat. can save money for fri k, hehe. have been a very good girl this week, came bck home for dinner everyday, keke, another way to save money as well ~ plus there's not a need to think what to eat. zoe brought a ukelele for her bro, and it's juz 28 dollars. tempting to buy, but i have no idea how to play, so might be a waste of money.


i'm so confused about how i feel towards you.. is it like or i juz like ur present there ? at times i'll miss about u, but the more i think about u and me, my conclusion is no way. there isn't a way out for us. and also i'm curious about how u feel toward me, but i'm worried that i got the answer i don't wan to hear. i also don't wan to lose a friend like you. i miss you.. 

new start

haven't been blogging for a few months already . first post for 2013 . nth much to update , juz that i'm pretty busy with work and school , but i have fun with it . hehe , shall update more on the nxt post .

things will get better .

fragile

almost pass 2 months since i posted . shall post a short one before i continue to study for my paper. another 2 days i will be officially free frm exam . didn't expect this sem to pass so fast , in a blink of eye , i'm having my 2.1 exam . just hope i cn achieve a better result as compare to last sem .

recently, many things happen . i heard a lot of deaths arnd me , it's sad to knw tht . my friends' mom pass away frm cancer . i guess you can say her mom is a warrior, she fought well and she nvr once give up . RIP auntie . and also heard someone frm TP also pass away few days ago . i may not knw you, but i heard u r a great guy , rest in peace Issac. these make me realize tht life is so fragile. don't take things for granted because you nvr knw wht is gonna happen nxt moment.

Dear Sherralyn, 
i'm not sure if u r gonna see this post or not. i have been to ur mom wake, u look/sound okay, but i knw deep inside u aren't . i knw it's not gonna be easy to let go. time heals the wound. u said u r prepared for the worse, but nobody will ever be prepare to lost the one they love , especially is someone tht is so special to u . ur mom . i'm so glad to see u trying so hard to be strong, in fact not only glad but also with proud. if i'm in ur shoes, i cn nvr be like you , trying so hard to be normal. if ever someone tht is close to me pass on , part of me die with them . so baby stay strong k ? i'm always here for u , i'm not good at words , i'm good in listening. u aren't gonna fight this war alone , but with me . (:

fulfilling days

it's been long since i posted agn , ever since after the sch break i'm so busy with assignment and camps . well, i only cn blame myself for doing it during the 2 week break , procrastinating . for the two weeks break i either go to sch for meeting and meet yao,bin n teng (: been so long since i met them , totally miss them like hell , so glad to meet them .

29-30th june was the bizen camp, and i'm so happy tht it was a success ! seem like all the freshies tht came was enjoying (: glad tht the effort the main com put in was paid off (: however, since it was our first camp as the organizer and heads of the dept, there is a lot part tht we need to improve on . i'm glad tht i'm working with cally, she really done a great job coz partly she is programmer for FO . thanks for guiding ! not only tht, bizen freshie camp is the first camp tht i didn't sleep at all . hehe , proud of myself (: well, there is more to come , hope i cn do better !

simple life looks great .

haven't been on blogger for quite a few months alrdy , guess i'm too lazy and busy to do so . it's week 4 since since reopen . all the modules i'm taking nw are way too hard as compare to last year , i shld really strt to study . well , i can say life in sch nw isn't tht relax after the holidays . planning and preparing for events and camps , assignments n project due dates are getting near , quizzes as well . at least i am having a fulfilling sch days ? so many things happen too during these few weeks . realize that thr r many times u can't trust ppl arnd u , u don't knw wht is their motive of getting near you . can't judge someone by its cover . quantity of friends , quality of friends . which one u prefer ? most ppl tend to go for quantity , they hope to be popular , but u do have a price to pay . the higher u climb , the higher u fall , you'll be hurt all over and tht is the price u have to pay . being ordinary is fine , at least u r happy .

i need a break

i'm tired of everything , it's time to have a break .

sometime simple is beautiful as well

been a month plus since i last posted . that was way before my main exam i guess ? i'm done with my year 1 and i'm having my holidays now . tomorrow would be the result day , well i hope my GPA would be arnd 3 , i don't expect to do so well this sem . kinda guilty of playing too much this semester . have to work extra harder on next semester to get a better result . didn't expect myself to get into main com , bt still kinda happy though . and i'm going kukup trip with the incoming and outgoing main com , i'm sure it would be a fun trip , it's on the 16th-17th mar .

life have been good ?

it's been long since i posted , hardly have the time and mood to do so . have a busy schedule for this 2 weeks , since the due date for project and assignment are arnd the corner. nxt will be the main exam . shld really strt studying , stop procrastinating !!

it's 2012

so times really fly, it's 2012 . sch have officially strted, results are back. i didn't do well, was expected thr'll be a drop in my result, bt i didn't except to be a huge drop . shld really buck up and pull my grades up . it's important for my GPA .

jealousy ? maybe ...

since age i posted , 12 days ago . meet up with my girls for a zoo trip tdy ! have awesome tym getting crazy with them . teng and me were acting like kiddy , crzy girls ! feeling guilty for nt getting the girl x'mas present tdy :/ shall get it soon , bt i'm so busy with works and house-chores , didn't even have much tym with my hw . shall really get strted , another few days sch gonna strt alrdy .

cherish every moment

finally sch's out nw , test are over . holidays strt . the test wasn't very hard , except tht Qmethod was quite tricky . do hope i can ace it . kinda regret joining so many activities , cause i don't have tym for my dears ! having camp , outing and packing day . wow ! and i have econ , Qmethod and system & concept tool project due whn sch strt . not forgetting the individual computer programming major project . oh well , busy schedule i have .

what's the matter ?

what am i doing ? i don't have the courage like i do in the past . what should i do ?

is there a way out ?

it's week 4 of sch. i have been procrisinating ... it a bad sign . how am i going to improve my study ? to be honest , sch sux . lecturer and tutor have change , somehow the enviroment changed . therefore , feeling kinda drain frm studying .

life in class isn't making any easy for me . the girls still do their gossipping , outcasting etc etc ... however , at least me n sherrayln is still friend , we still cn be each other listening ear . have been attending lecture with zhi ling too (: a friend i made during ESC camp ^^ she's a nice friend.
although life wasn't tht imperfect , however i still hope that i can change class . haven't been meeting idk-ers too , kinda miss them so much . hope to meet up soon (:

family have been quite peaceful these few weeks (: it's a great sign . love my family , especially my parents ! i really cherish them , although they may be nagging n unreasionable at times . hehe , daddy n mommy i love you ! (:

hope to find you soon .

keep on hoping

it's not easy to let go , be it hate or love.

holiday is ending , another 10 days. thinking of going bck sch make me feel so drain . the thinking of facing them make me feel so annoyed , upset , drain , etc etc ... anyway , i juz hate going sch , cause i have to face them .it's gonna be another two and a half year . muz endure !

anyway , i spent my holiday quite well i guess ? had been working as a promoter and admin . so earn quite a few bucks tht cn last me for a few months , and it's a long holiday agn . have to work agn . not forgetting to mention tht i went for esc camp . it was awesome ! made quite a few friends during the camp (: and i change my hairstyle . guess kinda cute ? lots of ppl say tht :x hmm ... couldn't say tht my life during holidays was perfertly awesome , cause thr're hip-cup here and thr . however , i do enjoy my holidays .

tdy , my parents sending my maid bck to the agency cause her working attitidue wasn't very gd , and need to wait for a month or smt for another new one . oh god , the housechore :x :x i don't wan to do la D: hope she'll find another better working enviroment , and hope we cn get a better maid ?

i can't let it go , be it hate or love .

panic ...

two more day will be first paper ! so fast ... :X moodswing ....

give me a hug , tht's all i need

a weeks before exam ... shld strt studying real soon . i guess tmr will be a better day .

give me a hug to let me knw u r beside me, lend me a shoulder to cry , give me a kiss to tell me u love me .

so tired of everything , i need a break .

what's wrong ?

another two weeks before holiday strt . shld really strt revising . kinda shock whn I gt bck my INPROSYS quiz , was thinking tht I'll fail badly bt manage to score pretty well . oh well , happy go lucky I guess ? sch wasn't bad as well , at least I survive through . didn't meeting up bin n Yao this week , they're busy :/ last project , and it'll be finish for this sem .


if only I'm able to find you , I wouldn't be here crying .

too complicated , too sad to know who's ur true friends .

didn't update for quite a few weeks alrdy . anyway , life in sch wasn't that bad since i joined another clique . although thr're tym being left out , but still it's getting better . had 4 quizzes this week , which's alrdy over . another 3 weeks before holiday strt . as usual , ytd meet up with bin , yao didn't manage to come . had awesome tym catching up with bin (: going out with my lovely nvr fail to brighten my day (:


sometime i just hope tht everything can come to a stop . too complicated , too sad to knw who's your real friends .

hoping .

if there's a will , there's a way right ? hmm , I do hope so . sch didn't went too well or too bad . but still the enthusiasm for sch is gone for sure . why ? because I don't wish to see them .

whn I fall , I hope u cn be thr for me .

an ending is a new begining

ytd was NV 10th anniversary . all i cn say it was awesome (: realize tht every concert help us to bond with each other . get even closer to each other (: i miss NVAB alrdy ! however i don't lyk the feeling after concert , feel kinda empty . making me wan more , hoping tht tym cn stop thr for a moment. but we all knw , thr's always an ending for everything . be it is happy or sad . everything will end one day. bt the memories will nvr end (: si liang dad sent me home , so i reach home before 12 ^^ thx ! (:


i don't know what change you , bt feel so hurt abt ur change . be it as a lover or friend . the one i use to knw , whr are you ?

breaking apart .

idk wht to do ... within seconds , I'm falling apart ... whose gonna pick me up agn ? how I wish it never happen before . I pray , praying for miracle . I'm so hurt to move , so hurt to laugh , so hurt to cry . wht shld I do ?

thr's a time u need to get away frm everything.

sometym be alone doesn't mean lonely i guess ? although the relationship between me and the class is more distance than before . bt at least i cn be me (: sometym i love the silent . maybe i may look lonely , bt sometym it really doesn't matter . meeted teng on sat . had awesome shopping tym , buffet and sing k (: and ytd meet up with bin and yao (:

seeing them really make my day (: they give me the courage to stay strong (: being with them , let me recharge agn , and go face the girls in my class . really in love with them :D although we can't spent so much tgt anymore . bt true friends don't distance themselve even they don't meet up often (:

this coming sat will be NVSS 10th anniversary (: hope the concert will go well .

be it in the past or present , u're always thr for me (:

have u ever thought who give me the courage whn i need it ?

do you knw thr're so many times i wanted to just give up and fall apart . do u knw wht give me the courage to continue to stay strong ? have u ever thought of how i feel ? do you knw wht i have been through ? the answer is all no . whn i have problems in sch , who cn i turn to ? my friends , not you .

you're tired , am i not ? i mean who's not ? you say i didn't help out at home . oh really ? these two weeks i have been rushing home after sch juz to come bck and help . you didn't say a thanks , now you're saying that i'm not helping ? i just went to back every friday night to help out only . i'm not going out to play . i'm just try to help out , i just hoping that everyone arnd me cn be happy . is this selfish ?

do you have any idea how passion i have for music ? no ... two years back , whn i having a concert at victoria concert hall . asked you if you wan to go , you say not free . but end up you're at home watching television . do you knw how disappointed i am ? i wish you guys were thr to support me . however , you didn't . and i don't have wonderful friends in poly . my poly life sux , i'm just trying to get myself busy and forget my problem . and the only way is music .

yes , it's my fault for not doing well in 'O' lvl , nw i did better alrdyy . but did you see ? it's never enough right ? what i do is never enough . never enough to be your good child , your perfect child . i knw , before i was born , you was hoping i'm a boy , but end up i'm a girl . disappointing right ?

how long can you be strong ?

it's monday ! a new week in July . another month to main exam . hope I cn do well . (: wish me gd luck (: even since so many things happen , actually make me realize , many tym alot of things is beyond our control . maybe tht how god arrange it , hoping we cn gain experience . frm pain , we'll learn . experience make us a better person I guess . but thr're so many times tht I suddenly feel the faith is fading in me . I'm worried tht someday I'll just break down . huien jy okayy ?

I'm always waiting here . just tht u didn't realize .
ps. look back at tym to see me .

passion for music

realise that I still have passion for music . I miss playing flute . playing it make me forget my trouble because I'm focusing , and concentrating how to play well . (: haha , so I wonder shld I join back band in tp ma ... but thr's many factors why I don't wan join . haha . in love with music (;

u keep calling ppl sticky , but errm hello , I don't stick to u . I tired to avoid u as much as I cn . don't u see it -.-' and what's wrong eating medicine to get better skin ? are u jealous ? ur skin condition isn't tht gd pls ... and yeah wht u tweet on twitter I wund borther tweeting back indirectly . since I have done u wrong in the first place , I'm juz gonna close one eye to make up wht I done . however I do hope u have some 良心 , I didn't do that over . but lyk I say God is watching wht we doing , and yes there's karma . and if u are too over , u also will get it . haiz , I miss the days I have in sec 3 & 4 life . life was much more peaceful than this year . hmm :/ but I do believe 只要笑一笑，没什么事过不了！coz I still have a bunch of friends that's always thr whn I need them (: thx (:

wow, I nt sure how long cn I ignore their comments and be strong at the same tym . I'm losing the grip alrdy ... the faith in me is fading . I don't knw how to be strong anymore ... they thought I'm tht strong ... it's all acting ... but who's knw right ? part of me is alrdy falling apart , I feel lyk bursting out into tears ... bt who cn I turn to ? no one ... I keep telling myself , just don't care , carry on with ur life , but I just can't . so pathetic huh ? I need a rest frm everything ... why just can't they move on ? they say don't try to act so strong den end up be a sore loser . bt hello , if I don't , wht am I suppose to do ? being weak ? letting u laugh at it ? and u keep saying loser ? don't u knw wht u write is so not logical ?