had the worse argument with my parents regarding the Hong Kong trip .. I knw dad haven't been feeling well ever since he got sick .. He haven't really recover from the illness since then .. I trying my best helping out here, I'm not sure whether they have seen the efforts or not .. I'm not complaining that I need stay home and get all the things done. It's perfectly fine for me to do so, everyone in the family need to make sacrifices to make the family functions ..my heart and mind almost stopped when I heard dad waa gonna be admitted to the hospital.. I wanted to break down so much, because it actually hurts so much seeing my dad got so sick.. since young, my impression of dad is he's strong, nth's cn beat him down, even the sky drop, he will hold up for me.. so when I saw him suffering for high fever and pains, it's too much for me to handle, way to much .. looking at my dad just breaks my heart, I just hope I cn do smt for him, sharing his pain or anything .. I'm more than willing to do anything to make him feel better , anything just anything. using that particular phrase to describe me , it's very harsh .. and abt studying in sim. I'm sorry I let my parents down because I wasn't able to get into local uni.. sorry for the expensive sch fees that u need to pay for me .. I'm sorry, sorry for the disappointment, sorry for not working hard .. Other than sorry, I still feel sorry..

I feel guilty for fighting the chance to go hk with my friends .. yes I have been there more than once, I even went there on March , jus recently .. but there are so many reasons I want to go with my friends .. Some selfish reason of mine, but then not only that I made the promise to friends.. how am I going to explain ? as I'm writing this post, my mind is still in a state of confusion .. I'm feeling so guilty, it weighting down on my shoulder, yet I just don't knw how to express my thoughts to my parents .. feeling even more guilty because tdy is father's day, and all I did was making my dad angry and worry . such a unfillial daughter I am . not sure who cn i turn to, coz it's so hard to find someone that is able to relate to it and understand what I'm going through ..

I have my own stand, so do my parents. I hate standing against them,sometime I jus wish they cn try to understand my view here . ps I'm not sure what am I supposed to do, what I did was right or wrong ?